Okay, let's be honest, if there were a country of over-thinkers, I'd be the Queen... or President if it was a democratic nation... (I digress)
Still, this is a bit of a problem as overthinking isn't really a productive trait. So let's make it one!
Overthinking topic of the day:
Where do you draw the line between being cute and being clingy?
AKA the Overly Attached Girlfriend problem.
So as I've written before, I've become a bit enamored with this guy. And as mentioned before, things have been going at a pretty slow pace, which is completely fine. BUT the more attached I get to people (not limited to people I like in a romantic fashion; friends too) the more time I want to spend with them. I feel that this is completely normal. Or at least that's what I tell myself so I don't feel like a weirdo.
So I become attached and I want to spend more time with people, but there is the problem of time. See, time is a limited resource, and I usually have more free time than most people. This particular guy does not have an abundance of free time. While he does have more at the moment because school is on break, it is still significantly less free time than I have. With time being limited for people and there being so many things to do in that little bit of time, getting together with people can become an issue.
And that brings me to overthinking!
Last night, while half awake, I began thinking (RED FLAG!). If I've done the math in my head correctly, the soonest I can see this guy again is after Christmas. In the scheme of things, that's really not terrible. That's a little over a week from now. I don't go on dates often, and I'm not sure what the "protocol" is in these situations, but about 2 weeks between dates isn't that long, right?
Now to my problem: that's not soon enough for me. I want to see him again, like now. I sound like an impatient child, and let's be honest, I usually am one; patience is not my strong suit. Is it weird that I want to see him again so soon? I just saw him Saturday... for a really long time. First dates are not usually an all day event. I "talk" (text) to him every night. Granted, he's usually working during the hours when we text and I have to wait hours (usually) between responses. Still, we converse pretty regularly.
But that's not enough for me. There is a big difference between texting, or even talking on the phone, and spending time in person. As a shy, socially awkward individual, texting really is a great form of communication, but in person helps to build confidence and connection to who you're talking to. I feel like I'm not being very clear, but basically once I'm comfortable with someone I prefer talking in person. Especially with this guy. We've been talking for a long time, and I think we talked more in that one day than we really ever had between all the texts and the one phone call we've had. I want to experience that again.
I've kind of convinced myself that if he ever saw these blog posts, he'd probably think I'm a crazy person, but luckily we haven't taken the step of being "friends" on social media yet. There was a point to this originally. I'll find it again, eventually.
Alright, so I've been debating whether me wanting to see him again so soon is considered "clingy." This is something past romantic partners have told me. I know that I get really attached really fast and that is not a good thing. But is it weird for me to text him something like, "I really wish we could go out again sooner"? I've even taken to debating when is a good time to text him. A very legitimate reason that he texts me first 99% of the time is that I don't know when is too early to text him. Part of this is me not wanting to wake him up. The whole working until the middle of the night thing is foreign to me, so I'm not really sure what hours sleeps/wakes up. I know this could easily be remedied by me asking him when he sleeps, but I feel like that's intrusive/I've already established that I'm pretty bad at asking what seem like simple questions. The other part of me is worried that it will come off as weird if I text him earlier than I usual time. I panic over silly things like this, thinking, "What if he isn't thinking about me as much as I am about? (probably not) And what if it's not a good time? What if he doesn't want to talk to me?"
So I've over thought the timing of texts so much so that he texts me first, and I usually wait a few minutes to respond so it doesn't seem like I'm so overly eager to talk to him. I guess this is me trying to play hard to get, but mostly it's me trying not to be clingy. Like I said, things are going pretty slow, am I moving to fast to text him more often, or just earlier in the day? Am I overly attached if I tell him I want to see him again? These are questions that are legitimately bothering me. I get anxiety over them. I've been up since probably 6:30am (partly because I forgot to turn off my work alarm, partly just thinking), and I'm really stressing out about this. I'm trying to think in my head of ways to see him sooner (like completely calling off my trip to Yuma on the off chance I could see him on Friday, which I don't think I could do, but I've been floating the idea in my head anyway).
I've been typing this post on and off for a while now. I'm sitting here really feeling like I'm going to have/having a panic attack. I don't want to screw this up, and I really feel like I will. And the irony is that I know thinking like that is what can screw this up. I'm pretty sure that he likes me, and that me texting him isn't going to scare him away. If I didn't scare him away on Saturday talking about how much of a klutz I am, right before tripping (like, I couldn't have timed it better if I tried), or by telling him how much of a geek I am over Jurassic Park stuff, or excitedly pointing at the screen and telling him how excited I am for the Divergent movie when the trailer came on... I don't think texting him in the middle of the day is going to chase him away.
Ugh. Dating... this is why I haven't done it in so long... I make it so damn complicated when it doesn't need to be...
I've kind of convinced myself that if he ever saw these blog posts, he'd probably think I'm a crazy person, but luckily we haven't taken the step of being "friends" on social media yet. There was a point to this originally. I'll find it again, eventually.
Alright, so I've been debating whether me wanting to see him again so soon is considered "clingy." This is something past romantic partners have told me. I know that I get really attached really fast and that is not a good thing. But is it weird for me to text him something like, "I really wish we could go out again sooner"? I've even taken to debating when is a good time to text him. A very legitimate reason that he texts me first 99% of the time is that I don't know when is too early to text him. Part of this is me not wanting to wake him up. The whole working until the middle of the night thing is foreign to me, so I'm not really sure what hours sleeps/wakes up. I know this could easily be remedied by me asking him when he sleeps, but I feel like that's intrusive/I've already established that I'm pretty bad at asking what seem like simple questions. The other part of me is worried that it will come off as weird if I text him earlier than I usual time. I panic over silly things like this, thinking, "What if he isn't thinking about me as much as I am about? (probably not) And what if it's not a good time? What if he doesn't want to talk to me?"
So I've over thought the timing of texts so much so that he texts me first, and I usually wait a few minutes to respond so it doesn't seem like I'm so overly eager to talk to him. I guess this is me trying to play hard to get, but mostly it's me trying not to be clingy. Like I said, things are going pretty slow, am I moving to fast to text him more often, or just earlier in the day? Am I overly attached if I tell him I want to see him again? These are questions that are legitimately bothering me. I get anxiety over them. I've been up since probably 6:30am (partly because I forgot to turn off my work alarm, partly just thinking), and I'm really stressing out about this. I'm trying to think in my head of ways to see him sooner (like completely calling off my trip to Yuma on the off chance I could see him on Friday, which I don't think I could do, but I've been floating the idea in my head anyway).
I've been typing this post on and off for a while now. I'm sitting here really feeling like I'm going to have/having a panic attack. I don't want to screw this up, and I really feel like I will. And the irony is that I know thinking like that is what can screw this up. I'm pretty sure that he likes me, and that me texting him isn't going to scare him away. If I didn't scare him away on Saturday talking about how much of a klutz I am, right before tripping (like, I couldn't have timed it better if I tried), or by telling him how much of a geek I am over Jurassic Park stuff, or excitedly pointing at the screen and telling him how excited I am for the Divergent movie when the trailer came on... I don't think texting him in the middle of the day is going to chase him away.
Ugh. Dating... this is why I haven't done it in so long... I make it so damn complicated when it doesn't need to be...
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