Off Day

Today has been weird day. Nothing particularly bad happened, but I'm not really in a great mood.

The girl I work with got offered a great job opportunity, but it means that she will effectively be quitting once this season is over. It's kind of a blow, and totally coming out of left field. I can't fault her for taking this opportunity; she'll get to travel Japan for about 6 months. But at the same time I feel a little panicked because I will once again without an assistant coach. I was actually kind of hoping to get out of teaching guard soon, but I can't just leave these kids without a coach all together. So I'm here for another year. Plus I really enjoy working with her. We have really been doing some good work with the kids and have been getting along so much better than the last coach and I ever did. But I guess all good things come to an end? I'm really excited for her. If I was in her position I would be making the same decision.

Didn't get to talk to my boyfriend all that much today. That's really not the end of the world. We don't get to see each other at all during the week. I got spoiled last week because of my Valentine's gift. It's been a tad annoying not getting to see him very often, but it is what it is. I think he's worth waiting until the weekend to see. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that jazz. But still, I really do like when we actually talk during the week. It's also tough with his work schedule. He's basically nocturnal. He works 5:00pm - 3:30am. I wake up about the same time he's going to bed. We'll text in the early afternoon, and when he's on breaks, but that's about it. I do have several alarms set for when he gets off work just so that I can talk to him. I've slept through them a few times, but it usually makes me feel a little better getting to talk to him a little more. I feel like I'm too clingy. So far he says I'm not. He likes that I text him when he gets off work. He'll be the one to initiate conversations when he's on break. He's an absolute sweetheart. But I'm always going to be a worrier, and I just have to keep reminding myself not to worry so much about everything with him. Things that past boyfriend have specifically not liked about me he says he loves. He's a compete dork and loves that I'm nerdy like him. He doesn't think it's weird that I keep playing the same game over and over or that I watch more YouTube videos than TV (he actually suggested that the next time we're cuddling in bed, we watch YouTube instead of a movie). Whenever I tell him about any of my insecurities or worries, he instantly tells me why I shouldn't feel insecure or worried. He is literally the best boyfriend I could've asked for. Yes, I get that I'm still newly in love and stuff. That's part of the fun of it. I'm scared and excited and happy and all the feelings at once when I'm with him.

This was originally a blog where I was planning on bitching about nothing, but this is kind of turning into another blog about my relationship. Sorry, not sorry.

Anyway, back to feelings and emotions. This past weekend was a really big one. I met his family. I'm not talking just the parents or anything, I'm talking A LOT of family. So here's how it happened. I had a show with my students on Saturday. He met me there and watched and was super supportive. Afterward we went out to lunch before going over to my friend's house for some double date style hanging out. While back at my house killing some time, he casually asks if I'm doing anything the next day. I say no, and he asks if I'd want to go to lunch with him, his aunt, his cousin, and his mom. I'd already met his aunt and cousin (very briefly) once before, but I've been pretty anxious about meeting his mom. I don't know what it is, but the thought of meeting his mom was a big deal to me. I guess it's the equivalent of a guy meeting a girl's dad. Anyway, he goes on to say that they'll be surprised if I show up since they're meeting for lunch in Corona. I say sure, because I really want to meet his mom and stuff. Then he drops a few more things on me.

It's not just his mom, aunt, and cousin... it's about 20 members of his family...

And it's not just lunch... it's his mom's birthday.

Oh good, thanks sweetie for springing that on me. haha I think I literally stood there with my eyes as wide as they'd go for a good 10 seconds. That doesn't sound like a long time, but trust me, 10 seconds can feel like a million years. He said he didn't want me to be anxious about lunch with my competition. Which I guess is really considerate... but he'd known about this lunch for days and just sprung it on me the day before.

THEN, as if there weren't any other bombs that could be dropped, he mentions, "Since I'm sure this will come up, my brother's girlfriend is also named Samantha." haha c'mon!

So fast forward a little bit. I have probably 5 panic attacks before we actually get to the restaurant. My friend lent me a really cute dress to wear since what I had packed to her place wasn't really weather appropriate (since So Cal decided summer needs to happen in February). I was nervous all throughout lunch. He had already kind of prepped them that I'm super shy, so I think they went easy on me with the questions. They told a few embarrassing stories about him. (Particularly involving a dirt bike crash, and how he lost his nipple piercings... yes, he had pierced nipples at one point... haha). Overall, it wasn't nearly as terrifying as I expected it to be. I had told him in the car that he had to sit next to me and hold my hand so that I could squeeze it whenever I was feeling really anxious. I actually tried not to do that... but he has already figured out some of my little ticks. When I'm nervous/anxious/excited I play with my hands. It was way dramatic when I was younger, but it's usually just me constantly moving my fingers or taping or something. He noticed my hands in my lap were particularly fidgety, so he would grab my hand and rub it when I was nervous. He made a comment about how I didn't seem to be as nervous once we actually sat down to lunch.

He told me the next day (because he ended up spending the night that night and not going home until the next day) that his mom really did like me and that she liked what I wore (thank you Summer's closet haha). He said his whole family loved me. His one cousin think's I'm pretty cool, so that's good. I'm actually looking forward to meeting most of them again since I will be over the initial nervousness.

And his aunt said something kind of made me feel pretty good. Apparently Jon doesn't bring girls home. He doesn't introduce them to anyone unless they're special, so the fact he introduced me is a big deal. I'd like to mention that he's been talking about introducing me to his family since our 2nd or 3rd date. So that was obviously really great to hear. I guess his aunt also told his mom that he looked like he was beaming as he introduced me to all the different family members. It's really good to hear things like that. Or like when I showed my friend Summer the picture of us on our Valentine's Date, she said that's the happiest she's ever seen him. :) My dad said that at his age, if he's bring me to meet his family it must be serious. Both of my parents have been say things to that effect lately. My mom even said a friend of hers predicts Jon and I will get married and have kids all before Olivia has kids haha. I'm loving that everyone seems to be rooting for this to work out. But it's so soon. I don't want to get hurt by having my hopes up. But at the same time, I can totally see him being the one, and I haven't felt this happy in a very long time. It's a slipper slope between being hopeful and getting out of control.

And, seeing as it's almost midnight, I'll call it a night. I've gotta get a little bit of sleep before my alarm for 3:30 goes off ;)

UnValentine

I'm being extremely lazy this morning. I've gotten up and fallen back to sleep several times. But hey, I didn't get to bed until after 4am, so it's ok.

I went out on my Valentine's date last night. Jon (have I used his name in these blogs yet? I don't remember.) and I haven't been dating long, but he remembered all the way back to August, when we started talking, that I said I loved the band Band of Horses. I had told him that I originally went to Outside Lands in San Francisco to see them, and they were one of the bands we missed because of our flight... a few months later I told him how they had a show in LA in February, but it was sold out. He some how was able to find us 2 tickets (they have some guy named Matt's name on them, so I'm guessing ebay or something haha). He wanted it to be a surprise but he got super excited because he knew how excited I would be. So, he gave me a bunch of hints and just waited for me to figure it out, because he knows I'm super impatient and nosey. I figured it out in a few hours.

My friend Summer jokes that we go on "marathon dates" because when we see each other its not just for a few hours, it's an all day (& sometimes all night) affair. This was no exception. Now, Jon hasn't proven himself to be the most punctual person haha so when he picked me up an hour late, I wasn't really surprised. We drove to LA, making comments about traffic, joking about stupid things, just having nice conversation... we went on a mini-adventure looking for parking, got trapped in a structure that wasn't technically a public structure... we got inside the church where the concert was and we both immediately went into Ted Mosby mode. The architecture was beautiful in this church.

The whole evening was amazing. There were definitely a few bumps, it wasn't absolutely "perfect." But that's actually something I've been trying to work on personally. I get too upset when things don't go according to plan. With Jon, I've learned that I can still enjoy myself and things can be perfect without being "perfect." Whenever we've gone out, we've only half planned what we're going to do. We kind of just wing it after that. So far everything has been enjoyable. We are easily able to just talk and drive and be content without a real destination.

It was a great evening. I'm truly content right now, and I haven't been able to say that in a very long time. Now, I'm off to maybe do something productive since I need to be at rehearsal in a few hours.

It has been a while since I have written something. I feel like I should write a more substantial update, but for now, I will write this short, half-awake post.

The boy I had mentioned in many of my recent blog posts is now my boyfriend. I really like him. I dare to use the other "L" word. But that is not something I feel comfortable using yet since things are still pretty fresh. He is absolutely amazing. He really makes me happy. I find myself wanting to be with him all the time. I get a ridiculous smile on my face every time he texts me. I love to just cuddle up next to him and feel so safe and warm. We kiss and I can't help be smile. I have a hard time with eye contact with people because I'm so shy... I love to make eye contact with him. He has really pretty blue eyes. He is a huge dork. We have very similar sense of humor. We like the same movies and music. We play the same video games. For Valentine's day he is taking me to see my favorite band in concert, because he remembered something I said about wanting to see them live MONTHS ago. It still feels very new, yet we've been talking for almost 6 months... dating for about 2... time is moving so fast. He spent the night here last night. I never sleep so soundly and peacefully than when I'm with him. I am happy and that's all I can really say right now.

And like I said, half-awake and short. Good night.