Freedom?

I know I haven't written anything in a while. Part of it is because I came to the realization that by putting something online, I'm making it known... it no longer belongs to me. Not really new information, I just realized that maybe I should start keeping things to myself. That, and I feel like I complain ENTIRELY too much, especially in my blogs. But oh well. Tis life. I'm procrastinating on my LAST assignment of the school year, and I'm so freakin' bored I'm considering working on this thing. Yeah, I'm that bored haha.

Let's see, where to start?

I've been applying for jobs like crazy. The realization that I barely have money available on my credit card and little money in my bank account has made me really nervous about the summer. I wanted to actually, you know, do stuff this summer. At this rate, I'll be lucky to pay bills, let alone get to so stuff. So yeah, that's been pretty stressful. Whatever. I've had 2 interviews. Didn't get either job, but I felt it was at least a good warm up. I sent in my resume for this job at the Boys and Girls club today. I'm pretty excited because I really want to work there. We'll see what happens. Hopefully they at least interview me.

I got accepted to student teach in the fall, but I still have NO CLUE where. Oh, and did I mention that I probably won't know until mid-September... after most school's have been in session for almost a month... Um... yeah, awesome. -__-. But whatever. I'm just excited that things are moving along in my career goals. I've already made the decision to go straight into grad school after I finish my credential. I mean, the likelihood there will be teaching jobs available this time next year is looking pretty thin. I figure, I will need to get my master's down the road anyway (because of how teacher pay scales go) so I may as well just get it now. Plus I can keep my in-school deferment on my loans... while acquiring more of them... oh joy. haha. I still have to figure out what to get my master's in. I'm kind of leaning toward education because I think it would help me be a stronger teacher, but I really love the idea of taking more history classes. I figure, if I don't make up my mind by November when all the applications are due, I'll just apply everywhere (i.e. Cal Poly Pomona, Cal State Fullerton, Cal State Long Beach... MAYBE SDSU, & U of La Verne) for both History and Education, then decide based on what programs I get accepted to.

I was kind of thinking of going back to UCI because I LOVED the History dept. there, but with the way the UC tuitions are going up, and the already ridiculous cost of living in Irvine, Cal States are the way to go. I did it the financially smart way, UC then Cal State. Olivia, on the other hand, is doing the opposite. I mean, it's a REALLY good thing she got a full ride to UCSB. I think she'll love it up there. Well, everything but Jeremy being down here haha. Her and my Dad had a "shit just got real" kind of talk tonight. She has been thinking that she can live in a quiet neighborhood, in her own apartment, off campus, living off giving flute lessons. Um, news flash sister, Santa Barbra ain't cheap. Olivia has never had a real job, and while I give her a hard time for it, I do it because I care. Like, seriously! She's 21! She has NO work experience. How does she expect to even be able to AFFORD living up there. She has NO money in savings, all the money she currently has is going toward this stupid road trip with Jeremy. I love her, and I just want her to be happy. But she has to be realistic. If she lived in the grad school dorms, she'd be perfect. It'd be covered by the full ride. BUT she doesn't like people. Like, really. C'mon! She get's a $500 allowance to pay for extra stuff, like books. But that's it. She has no money! At this point, she's commuting from Whittier to UCSB in the fall because she has nowhere to live. And HEAVEN FORBID she live where other college kids live, because they party and are loud. Dude, get over it! Make the best of a bad sich. She NEEDS to lighten up. Like, if ANYONE ever tells me I'm too picky or anything like that, I'll just have them meet my sister. The way I look at it, she has a good thing. My parents KNOW I want out of here. I want out of here so freakin' bad. But I'm trying to do the responsible thing and take care of my debt (which isn't as bad as other people I know), trying to find a (technically 3rd) job, I help out a HELL OF A LOT MORE around the house... I don't know. I just feel like she takes what we have for granted. And my parents have NO way of helping her. Like, business is seriously bad and it scares me. I've decided when I find a job I'm paying rent, even though they don't ask. I just want to help. I see my little brother, almost in college, and I get scared he won't have the chance OIivia and I had, just because of the stupid economy. Michael is smarter than BOTH of us, he deserves a great college experience.

So yeah. Just some rants. I think I'm getting sick. My throat has been killing me. It could also be that I've started using the ceiling fan in my room, and fans/AC always get me, but we'll see. Um... we did captain/drum major interviews at Cal today. I think my Bro has a good shot at DM, or at least Asst. DM. We'll see. My opinion is, of course, biased.

That's all I can think of for the moment. Not as much complaining... at least about myself, just complaining about Olivia :P

Au Revoir