I haven't felt like this in a while. It blows.

By this, I am referring to panic attacks.

I'm seriously having one. I'm so stressed out. It's part hormones, part school, part anxiety of the "post-graduation" world, part missing Noah like crazy. I'm tired but I haven't been able to sleep the whole night in a few nights. I want to sleep but I have nightmares when I do. I don't want to do to my final tomorrow. I just want someone to tell me that everything will be alright and that I'm being ridiculous. I miss Noah like crazy and I just want to see him. I feel like I'm in a long distance relationship without the actual relationship. Last week, while I was with him, I was happy. It was so bittersweet because I knew it wouldn't last, but I couldn't have been happier. I feel like he's been acting distant (in the communication dept. since he's already distant in the physical sense) but he is in school and has a life in Memphis. Things between us are basically back to the same except now we both admit to loving each other. That sounds incredibly mushy, doesn't it? Ick, I hate mushy. Well, most of the time I hate it, anyway.

I am so at a loss. I'm supposed to be anxious, yes. But feeling like crap? Feeling like I'm on my wits end... This is my last DAYS of college. The whole world is right in front of me and all I want to do is curl up in a little ball and cry. I loved feeling wanted last week and I want that more.

I'm being way too melodramatic. One of my unspoken New Years' resolutions was to be "less drama," and right now I'm not doing a great job. I already said EXACTLY what's bothering me. Why am I being so "woe is me" about it? There's nothing I can really do except keep on keepin' on. I'm stressed out. Nothing more.

I think that I should take some Nyquil and try to hit the sack. I already text Noah something incredibly melodramatic, so I've definitely gone over my pathetic quota for the night.

Peace.