HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Well, not yet, but yeah.

So I've been really bad about writing in this as often as I wanted, but I'm trying to fix that now. I'm going to try to update what's been happening while also talking about thanksgiving stuff because its the thing to do.

SO update time.

Field season is finally over. The end of the season wasn't as great as I would've liked, but as a whole it wasn't terrible. It was actually pretty good. It's disheartening that they dropped more than 5 points in one week, but on the whole they were almost 7 points higher on average from last year. So, that's good. We had a staff meeting today to talk about what changes to make for next year, what to do to recruit, role of student leadership, and of course, ideas for next year. My contributions: Witches (like, Salem Witch trial stuff), Apocalypse (preferably of the zombie orientation), and Baseball (because it'd be cute and cool). A lot of other cool suggestions were made and nothing is decided yet, but the goal is to decide sooner vs. later. Also got some good ideas for winter guard. There is so much to do in the weeks leading to Christmas.

In other news, I went on a kind of, sort of double date last night. It was great. The day started with one of my best friend's kidnapping me haha. We met another friend for brunch, went shopping (where I bought a remote controlled helicopter. Friendly reminder: I am a grown adult), and then we went to her place to have some drinks and hang out until movie/date time. It wasn't a true double date because this friend's sister-in-law tagged along. The 5 of us went to see the Doctor Who 50th anniversary in theaters. I had already seen it a few times (because I'm impatient and I get overly emotional when watching Doctor Who... doesn't come off great to cry like a baby over something so silly when you're trying to impress a boy).

Before I get too involved in this story, I should talk about how this date came to happen. Alright, so I've been talking to this guy for a while now (I mentioned this in the last post). And he has asked me a bunch of times what my schedule is like, but he's never actually asked me out. Well, the other day we were texting about something and he asked if I'd be free Monday night. I had been planning on seeing the 50th for a few weeks with this friend (who has also been trying to set me up with this guy for a while). She had bought the tickets already, and she "just happened" to have an extra ticket. She claims that she bought it thinking my brother would come with us, but I had already told her that he would be at school before she bought them, so that was just her crappy cover story. Anyway, I asked her what I should say, because 1) I really wanted to go out with this guy, and 2) I didn't want to miss my chance to see Doctor Who on the big screen. What a dilemma.

So my friend says, "Just ask him to join us." Without thinking, I did what she said. It wasn't until after I hit send on the text that I realize, "Oh shit! I think just beat him to it, and asked him out first!" He said yes, obviously.

Okay, cut back to last night. We got to the movie ridiculously early so that we could get good seats. My friend sat at one side of our row and I sat on the other (so that it was obvious that we were taking all of the seats) while everyone else went to get concessions and use the restroom. When this guy came back, he sat down next to me automatically. While we were a little silent some of the time, we tried to make conversation while waiting for the movie to start.

Now, I'm usually really shy and awkward when I have to talk to someone one-on-one (unless I know them really well). But with this guy, it was kind of scary, but I was actually pretty good about not being awkward. That has been my biggest goal while talking to him, not being awkward. I don't have a lot of confidence when talking to people, and I've approached talking to this guy as practice being a more confident me. So far it seems to be working out for me. A life goal for me has been to not be so serious and laugh at myself more, so I was telling him embarrassing stories, and geeky things. (Like the whole, watching over 500 episodes of Doctor Who thing... I even brought my homemade Tom Baker scarf. That takes courage... but I didn't wear it, my friend's husband did). To put it simply, I tried to be the me I am with the people I'm close to. I tried to be funny, and smart, and geeky. I've also been trying to get to know him and really listen without just trying to think about what I should say next (active listening, a lost art). We talked Doctor Who (obviously), Pokemon, video games in general, dogs, drunk stories, families, work, school. My friend was a big help in some things. At one point we ended up in the cabana (yes, she has a cabana) talking, just the 3 of us. I'm still working on being better about asking questions, because I'm always worried that I will come off as intrusive. So she kept asking him questions and that would help me come out of my shell a little more.

The biggest regret of yesterday, though, was that I didn't try harder to hold his hand or kiss him. I did the super dumb, "I'm going to put my hand on the arm rest and wait for you to make the next move," thing. I'm a little mad at myself for not taking my friend's advice. In the car earlier, she was very vocal on this subject. "Don't just leave your limp hand there! Who wants to grab that? This is what you do if you want to hold his hand." She then reached over and grabbed my hand. Sounds easy enough, but when the moment came, I choked. He had his arms crossed over his chest most of the time and I really was scared to just reach over and grab his hand. It's so childish. I'm 26, I shouldn't be scared to hold hands with a guy on a date.

Later that night, when saying goodbye, he did make a small move and hugged me. We've met a quite a few times at this friend's house for parties and stuff, and this was the first time we hugged. I melted a little on the inside, not gonna lie. When I got home last night, I had this conversation with him.

I am still internally screaming. I have A LOT of issues with trusting boys and commitment, but I'm really starting to fall for this guy. He's been nothing but sweet, nice, and funny. I think this could be the start of something good. (Not to mention he looked really cute last night. He wore a slightly tight blue button down shirt and his hair was a little longer than the last time I saw him, so it was curly and stuff. He's super cute. haha). 

So, in this time of Thanks, I'd like to thank my friends for being so awesome, and for introducing me to cute boys that aren't asshats. :)

Speaking of which... 

This morning I got a random call from asshat (see previous posts to know who I'm talking about). I had posted things to my twitter about my date last night. I know he reads my tweets, and I kind of wanted him to see it, but it wasn't like I was posting it for the sole reason that he'd see it. So when he called this morning, this is roughly how the conversation started. "Good morning, Sammy. So how was your double date last night?" Ummm... I want to say that's a creeper thing to say, but if I'm posting it to the internet, I guess it's public information.

I had a brief back and forth with him over the fact this wasn't information I felt comfortable telling my ex (I'm sorry, I don't care how friendly or comfortable or close you are with your ex, it still doesn't feel right to talk about a boy I like with a boy I used to like... It may be a little childish of me, but this is some of those commitment/boy issues I was talking about before). He kept justifying, "But I'm happy for you! Can't I be happy for you? Just tell me, please." I answered a few questions. "Does he play video games?" "Yes." "Was he in band?" "Yes." "Did he march PC?" "No." I made it a point not to say the guy's name, because quite honestly, asshat doesn't need to know it. Despite the fact I've told a few people about this guy, even my mom, I kind of don't want to bring him up to too many people because I don't want to get my hopes up. I'm still not sure that I can call Monday an actual date, so I'm not getting any hopes up... well, I say that but I'm probably getting some up. (insert erection joke here). 

So yeah. I've been wanting to text him all night but I don't know what to say. I am totally that girl who over thinks a text message. Plus, he's working. 

So there is my update.