I know, I know. I complain too much about being single. Mostly because this is one of the few places I can get my frustrations out. I think I preface every one of these entries that way anymore, and though I probably have all of 2 readers, I still feel it necessary to note that I'm not ALWAYS focused on being miserably single. I do enjoy life and being single, promise. I'm just saying it'd be nice to have a boyfriend too.
I know, like, way too many people getting married. I really, truly am happy for them. I mean that with all my heart. I love that people I know and care about have found the one person to complete them, their soul mate if you will. But when I see things on facebook that are pretty lovey dovey, coupley bull shit, I wanna cry. I want that. I want that so badly. I'm so focused on other things right now, paying off student loans, finishing my credential, helping out at home... I never do anything or go anywhere where I can meet people. The one boy who semi cares about me I push away simply because I know that nothing could and ever will happen. It's horrible. I want to be more out there. I attempted the online dating thing for a hot second then realized how many people on the internet can lie and stopped. I'm lonely.
I feel bad for my best friend. I almost feel like I put that loneliness on her too much. Whenever I'm upset or excited or whatever, I text/IM/call/talk to her about it. And that's not a bad thing. She's probably the first friend I've had that I could do that with and get that close to. I love that I have her there for me if I need her and even when I don't. But she does have a boyfriend and one of my biggest fears is getting in the way of her relationship with him. I don't want to be a nuisance. I don't want to be that girl. I especially don't want to be a third wheel. I love Mark, but I don't want to be in that position. And I'm sure they wouldn't want that either. I felt almost embarrassed when she told me that had talked about possibly hooking me up with one of his roommates. As much as I kinda want to meet a guy through my friends (since I figure it's a good way of meeting someone when you're shy, and making sure they aren't a creeper) I feel like "wow, am I that desperate?" And apparently they're good at the match making thing since they got some PC peeps together.
I don't know. I just saw a few too many soon-to-be-married gooey status updates and needed to vent. OH! I think I've mentioned this before, but OLIVIA is now saying how much she hates people talking about getting married. YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND, SHUT UP! haha I get that he's gone for the summer and that sucks, but I have no one. I have no boyfriend. She's halfway to the married thing basically. Sans ring.
Anyway, I wanna read a little before bed. "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo" is starting to get really good. It only took 300 pages for the story to really start haha.
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