Restless Summer Sunday

Today is one of those days. One of those days where nothing seems to satisfy. Nothing is enough to fill the boredom.

It's been a rather typical Sunday by all accounts. Slept in, nice breakfast. Watching a few hours of the History channel. Caught a movie with my brother. Now I'm sitting here. Watching fragments of movies while flipping through the channels.

I just want to get out.

There is something about today. Maybe it's the way the sun is angled, or... I don't even know. I just know that this is one of those afternoons. They usually happen in the summer time. Where the light comes through the windows in just the right way. Where things feel a little, stale. I really don't know how to describe it. It gives me this heavy, almost anxious feeling in my chest. Almost like building up for a scream. And that's kind of what I feel like, screaming. I want to just get out. Drive without a destination. Just get out, explore. But I'm also too paranoid of going places alone, and I know that realistically I shouldn't. I have work early in the morning, and I really shouldn't be wasting gas...

But the urge to get out of the house, to leave somewhere else... it's so strong I could scream.

I think sometimes that I read too much or watch too many movies. I get these pictures in my head. "Perfect" moments. And I just want to be in those moments. Right now, I want to be by the ocean. Just sit and listen to the waves, do some people watching. That would be perfect. Or even go to Downtown LA. I don't know why, but that just seems like the place to be right now. I wish there was a way to quench this thirst. To make this anxious feeling leave. But I don't want to go alone. I don't mind driving alone. But this void I'm feeling, it's one of those times where I feel like sitting with someone. I wish there was someone around that I could hang out with. Go on an adventure to look for that "perfect" moment to live in. And I'm sure I could find someone, but I'm not the best at looking.

So now I sit here. Perhaps I'll read something. Who knows. Even writing, which can usually settle my nerves, isn't helping with this feeling.

Oh how wonderful summer can be... if only I had someone with me to go on adventures