Tonight I'm anxious and I can't figure out why.


I was feeling anxious yesterday and then found out that the closest chance I had for a job was all for not. I wasn't feeling anxious about that per se, it just happened that I got the news about the job falling through after feeling super anxious most of the evening.

Sometimes I think I really am crazy. I had a great weekend with Jon, as usual. We had sushi, went out to have drinks with one of his oldest friends, went to Summer and Johnnie's for dinner and swimming... he always makes me feel so special and loved. I told him that I was feeling anxious. I was worrying that I was being clingy or that he was going to get bored of me. He said he's not sick or tired of me, and he said he's not going to get bored of me. I feel silly for even thinking that he would, but can you blame me? I have trust issues. Every possible sign points to him actually being genuine and caring about me. We have fun together, we have inside jokes, we can have intelligent, meaningful conversation... I don't know why I'm so nervous and insecure. I'm so worried about losing him even though he is clearly not going anywhere.

I don't know where I'm going with this. I'm just tired right now because it's almost 1am and I've been watching Orange is the New Black all night and for some reason it's making me miss Jon.