I decided to reread The Fault in Our Stars since the movie comes out next week. I forgot how much I love this book. And how emotional it makes me. For the last hour, as I've read the last half of the book, I have basically been sobbing. If you know the story, then you know what happens. And while this is the third time I've read the book, it still makes me sob. While I've been fortunate enough to never had a serious illness or lose anyone very close to me to one, I still find so many things to relate to. Things that I'm scared to admit still bother me or that I worry about. I dare say that Looking For Alaska hits a little closer to home, in a more literal sense of what happens in the plot. But TFiOS brings up old memories.
And this is where I'm going to put a big spoiler, so just stop reading if you don't wanna see it.
When Hazel gets the phone call about Gus, it takes me back to that sunny November morning when I got the phone call about Zach. When I read about how hurt Hazel is and how upset she is, I feel like I'm reliving that morning over again.
The book also makes think of happy things too. I can relate to their love. But this book... as it says, "pain demands to be felt." And feel it I do. As I've been laying here basically sobbing over a book and fictional characters, I've wanted nothing more than to call Jon and tell him just how much I love him. It's a reminder of just how short life is and how fragile we are. To paraphrase Augustus Waters says, I am not in the business of denying myself pleasures, and I am in love with him. (The him being Jon, but who isn't in love with Augustus Waters, am I right?)
So, there really was no point to this post. I just needed to get out some pent up emotion, and I've actually cried so much that my throat hurts and my eyes are swollen, so this was a better outlet.
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